Monday, 19 January 2009

Yesterday I set off on a journey to York to see about buying a VW Camper van (from a very nice couple who invited me to stay at their house)…  I was feeling quite good about myself as it happened.  In that I’ve either missed or been late/last minute every time I’ve travelled in the last 6 months or so, and yesterday I arrived at Kings Cross a whole hour early. Tidy.

 I took myself off for a coffee. After returning the coffee 3 times for one that didn’t taste like shit, the cup I eventually settled on still tasted like someone had been putting cigarettes out in bowl of water for a week and then sieved the water into a cup and added milk… oh boy it was bad! Still, onwards and upwards I thought… I got to York and Ben picked me up and took me to the Camper, parked in his garage…  What a beautiful sight!



I saw all it can do; I made the beds, checked the engine, cooker, fridge and sink etc, saw all the variations on the seating arrangements and then took it for a test drive.  Every time I rev-ed the engine it was like it spoke to me…

vroom…vroom…buyme…vroom…Iloveyou…vroom… I’llmakeyouhappy…vroom vroom….

I pretty much made the decision there and then, but kept it to myself for a while.  I must say I was a tad concerned that I was staying at the house of the folk selling the van. I mean, what if I said… naaah, don’t want it?  Could of made breakfast a tad quiet. 

We went out for a beer to a great bar in York that sells an amazing selection of Belgian beers, among others from elsewhere.  After we’d had a few I told them I’d take it…we clinked glasses, they wished me well with it, we went home, I tuned their mandolin and then we drank whiskey and sang some songs…. All in a pretty good day.

I got up this morning, handed over the 'cha ching' and hopped in my new VW Camper van.  Topped up the oil, filled it with petrol and set sail on the long black sea to London. Half an hour into my 6 hour trip the van started acting a little funny… half an hour after that I was stranded in a lay by on the M1 160 miles from where I needed to be!!!!!  I called a towing company: £500 plus VAT!!!  I sat there, in the back of the van, thinking what an expensive hut!  In the end I joined the AA and they came out and told me that I wouldn’t be going home tonight unless I wanted to pay them £300 + VAT to have it towed…. long story as to why...

Oh, this post is so boring… you don’t need to know all this… the point is, I got the van working enough to drive it to the nearest town, as long as I didn’t indicate or put the lights on, at which point it would drain the battery and die, and being that it was getting dark and I had to cross a few major roundabouts before going through a town, it made for an interesting journey.  I found a garage but they wouldn’t charge the batteries (I have 3) overnight in case it exploded so I’m here most of tomorrow too while their on charge. So I have to try and get on the road before dusk tomorrow, interchanging my batteries at timely intervals so as to make the whole journey. 

I left my van at the garage and walked down the road in the buzzing village of Lutterworth. Two Inns, a garage and a subway.  The Inn across the road looked so much nicer than the one I’m in but I simply had to stay here, simply because it’s called ‘The Shambles’… I nearly pissed myself when I saw it.  It has a torn pool table, 70s carpet that’s frayed and peeling at the edges and a Publican that smells like a laundry basket.  His two year old grandson was walking around barefoot with a little white dog that humped everything in sight…. My kind of place!!!

For those of you concerned about the van…don’t be, it’s going to be fine…. I hope…

In the meantime, here’s my nice green toilet…